What do we stand on, rely on…

…?

Sometimes it feels that every human being in this world is walking, time and again, through a hallway, across a yard, along a street, running on a football pitch, sitting in a class room or seminar, sweating at the workplace, dancing on a party, where she has a label on the forehead and a spotlight on them cast by the million eyes staring, doubting, judging. Sometimes it feels that no human being can be free, can be herself, no matter which refuge she searches. And why is that? What is it that we base our actions on?

Are there inviolable values? Those that are true on the pitch, in the classroom, in the streets and hallways, the gyms and busstops. The world of the pitches and hallways, classrooms and train stations, market and workplaces poses questions to us everyday. And there surely are different ways to rationalize over the answers we can give. Nothing is as simple and clear as the first glance suggests and that is the problem with the labels on our foreheads: they seem to give clearity, simplicity. Every day we have to make up our minds and decide if something is good or bad, right or wrong. Do I accept money from someone who does wrong? Do I accept alcohol as a “thank you” as part of NGO etikett. Do I buy from industries that exploit? Do I speak up to stereotypes? Do I buy a ticket for the metro or pay some cent for the public toilet? Do I taste a grape in the shop? Do I leave the shit of my dog when none is around? Those are few of the questions the world holds ready time and again. And then there are even more complex ones, involving the behavior and actions of other human beings.

What do we stand on to find and give answers?

Some don’t even given answers, don’t make up their mind, ignore, forget. Others try to blur the lines. For those who try to get away i silence and with bowed head there are two quotes: 

Poem attributed to Martin Niemöller:

“First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak out for me.”

NOFX:

“First they put away the dealers,
keep our kids safe and off the street.
Then they put away the prostitutes,
keep married men cloistered at home.

Then they shooed away the bums,
then they beat and bashed the queers,
turned away asylum-seekers,
fed us suspicions and fears.
We didn’t raise our voice,
we didn’t make a fuss.
It’s funny there was no one left to notice
when they came for us.”

For those who blurr the lines there is another one:

The Perishers

“One may think we’re alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We’re not okay…

One may think we’re doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We’re losing ground with every passing day
We’re not okay…”

A lie is still a lie. In all the hallways, gyms, NGOs, classrooms busstops, petrol stations, in all those streets of life there is and always will be “the right thing to do”.

Dangerous alcohol consumption…

…

what actually is dangerous or “irresponsible” alcohol consumption? I wonder every time when I hear the alcohol industry trying to set the agenda concerning alcohol.

The alcohol industry and linked industries are trying with all means to spread the message that the consumption of alcohol is good (in what way so ever) or healthy or positively charged – as long as it is consumed “responsibly” (which the industry ONLY adds in Europe).

But what actually is “responsible consumption”? The alcohol industry even promotes the slogan “enjoy responsibly”? I wonder where dangerous alcohol consumption starts?

Well, it is actually the case that healthy reason already makes sound of the answer in our consciousness – sober people hear it and even drinkers become aware of that noise sometimes. However it seems that healthy reason, the reflection of our own experiences in the course of life, is not sufficient to decide politically where “dangerous alcohol consumption” starts. Politics has rubbed itself of its normative dimension and power and whorships only populistic phrases, as well as short sited political gifts and cosmetic corrections. Only for that reason can a term like “dangerous alcohol consumption” flourish in debates.

However, nurses and doctors in the emergency rooms across Europe know how wrong the term of “enjoy responsibly” really is. Employers know it, too. They know the consequences of bad work performences under the influence of hangovers. And every single one of us has felt the fear, the hide-away and trying-to-be-invisible when we walk through a street at night and hae to encounter a stumbling, loudly mumbling drunkard. These three examples narrate alcohol consumption that does not necessarily make it into the accident, death case, injured and violence statistics. Dangerous it is all the same.

The heavily blooding man had “just drunk a glass” and his senses failed him when he wanted to go down the stairs. So he fell them down. He landed in the emergency room accompanied by his girlfriend and her panic attacks. Who counts her fear? Can one glass be dangerous?

Or a friend who wanted to celebrate after the football match, with alcohol; he had to work the next morning. That day became a mere transportation road till he finally could go home. Who counts his alcohol consumption?

It is wrong that alcohol only starts being loked at as dangerous when something happens.

Nobody should be forced to walk in fear through the streets of a summer night. Alcohol consumption confines the individual freedom – that is constitutionally anchored all over Europe. And everywhere in Europe there are Millions who do not dare to go out alone when the sun has gone to bed. Is this violation of fundamental freedoms kept in the statistics?

It is not. But is is written in our souls. And so are the experiences of children when they see their parents being drunk. Children can sense the subtle changes of behaviour in their parents’ language and gestures. They cannot understand it, which leads to agonizing experiences that remain saved in their souls. And although nine million children, in Europe,have to grow up in families with at least one addicted parent, most of the parents I referred to here are said to drink “responsibly”. They are just not aware that their offspring can in deed feel this “one glass”  – in their breath, their voices, their eyes. Children see with different eyes than adults, we know that. They do not need statistics to recognize dangerous alcohol consumption.

Now, don’t mistake me, this is no accusation of statistics. Just to be clear. But some things simply cannot be measured and filed as data – and yet those things are real, too.

Alcohol is dangerous – from the first drop. For the individual. It is a drug, a cell toxic.

But alcohol is never consumed in a social vaccuum. Therefor it is dangerous – from the first drop. For the world around the consumer. There is no such thing as responsible drug consumption.

Content Matters…

…

at least it should.

But in a world where people are exposed to thousands of commercials daily, it somehow dosn’t seem to work according to the headline. Content does not matter. But status does, clothes do, labels and appearance and all too often the words you say, instead of the deeds you perform.

It is somehow part of the system we live in – it is so fast that you have to convince in the first chance you get; it is so short living that today is forgotten in an instant; tomorrow has become the ever promising horizon. But if today no longer matters, if every moment is overtaken by the next one, faster, higher, better, more, more, more, we loose the ability to be, just be in the now. It is only in the now where we can find out about ourselves, where we can find out about our relations to others and the things of the world around us. But the now is destroyed by rining mobile phones, blackberrys, portable computers – the next e-mail has replaced the thought of the self and its relation to the world. In the absence of the now, there has been established a dictatorship of the surface, the first impression. There is no time anymore for the second impression.

What does that do to us? Is it a problem?

It is because we are drowning our awareness – the most precious ability evolution gave us – in the quantity of possibilities, desires, needs, noises. Restlessness is the result. Restlessness without peace makes sick – or in the least, unhappy. And this is what every society all across the industrialized countries is experiencing. People are not happy.

Content matters?

We all have a feeling for this; that there should be witnesses to our life, someone who cares – longer than the first impression. There is a feeling inside all of us, I think, telling of the wish that content should matter more. It is the stomach ache that we feel after a delicious meal in a fancy restaurant; the headache we have a nice talk on the mobile phone; the aching back after an hour in the world wide web of distance. Physical pain tells about soul ache. And it is there in those feelings that we can find understanding: this world has become too restless. There is only time for a first impression and thus we feel that the moment in the nice restaurant has vanished even before we have eaten our plate empty; the words from the phonecall have lost the meaning right after we have hung up.

In the dictatorship of the first impression we have forgotten to feed our souls.

It is content that matters. It matters what you invest into your soul – and sometimes this might be an hour of waiting, just sitting at the train station listening to the sound of your thoughts. Sometimes the best music comes from inside the head – if you let content matter.

Still I rise…

…

Robert Louis Stevenson once wrote: “You cannot run away from a weakness, you must fight it out or perish; and if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?”

being…

…

a human being.

Cogito ergo sum?

Do you ever wonder about your soul? What it is? Where it is? Why it is?

Descartes said that I think and thus I am. But this is not, it cannot be the trademark quality, characteristic of a human being.

Each soul is here, to experience. Each soul, like my soul is here to go through, to feel through a certain experience.

What is my soul? Where is it?

The soul is not a substance – it cannot be named and it cannot be located. But when you feel a battle inside you; when you feel you don’t live up to what you once wanted, still want, can, should live – then you feel your soul. It is in these moments that human beings are in touch, literally in touch with their souls. And yet, just as we are not aware of everything we touch during a day, we don’t become aware of this moment when our souls vibrated.

We have to answer a call, click on a link, buy milk, concentrate on the traffic lights, argue with others, earn money, spend money, relax from doing all that…

But there are those battles, reminding us of the times when we were kids, when we were late because we were immersed in the football game we played, in the horse riding, in watching butterflies, in painting something, anything.

Who is winning the battles inside you? The complex life with its screaming commercials and alarming rush all around or the silent soul, somewhere?

I have heard the sound of a battle inside me. And this time I had time to listen to it. I listened – ears turned inwards. And what I heard was music…

Ich höre, also bin ich…

things you HAVE to do…

…

for a better world;

or: less normative – for survival;

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

“Look around you. Get involved.”

If you want to lose weight, there are a few things you HAVE to do. Just like there are a few things you HAVE to do, if you want to get clean; or if you want to feel well fed;

There are a few things you HAVE to do, if you want to have and keep a job; or if you want to have friends; There are a few things you have to do, if you want to be part of a team; or of a society.

Now it is outright obvious that along this reasoning the things you “have” to do become increasingly disputeable.

But when we talk about something like being a democratic citizen, one cannot say: you HAVE to do… When we talk about decreasing/ stopping (depends on you) climate change, one cannot tell: you HAVE to do…

Why is it like that?

You HAVE to watch that video =))

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

You have to get involved. As I wrote before: “you are a part of it… so get to the heart of it…”

still standing, always standing, forever standing…

…

Invincible

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

to you…

…

there’s always been you

…

there’ll always be you

TaTaTaraNKa

You fly with your own wings,

you prophet of a better time.

And no phoenix who flies with her own wings,

can ever soar too high…

tataranka

heavy heart…

…

with every beat it seems to sink lower, deeper in the chest, furhter away from me – my heavy heart;

with every beat it brings new strings of thoughts;

Why do they feel heavy?

2009 is going to be a great year for me. I am living in a perfect world now – for the first time in my life. And I have created this world – a shelter, sometimes a fortress, sometimes a refuge and always a well. From here I feel yearning for the world, to understand, to understand even more, to be there in the world and take it all in, perceive everything and invite everything into my soul. With the warmth from my well.

I stand tall with arms wide spread and senses wide open: 2009!

With the warmth from my well, I will live a positive life, a good life where everyday is a chance to realize a new year’s resolution, where every day means a chance to make the world, this world a little better. 2009!

I felt this paramount joy and lightheartedness for this new year – in this period that doesn’t really exist but yet feels so real: inbetween the years. And it is a challenge to be reflective in enthusiasm to perceive when the universe is talking to you.

My heart is heavy. I can hear the universe.

Today I saw old faces, from old times. Just like that. What do they tell? What does my heavy heart tell? We all carry a backpack with us loaded with souvenirs from the past. But we actually don’t need that backpack because the souvenirs from the past are also in our souls. I can feel mine more and more and more and more frequently – thanks to the warmth from my well. My soul contains the universe. I feel it.

Today I do.

So, I swing the backpack from its warming and comforting but also heavy pulling spot on my back to the floor in fron of me. There it stands and my thoughts are heavy. They can feel that they will be unpacked now. Unpacked and left on the street of history.

- when times transforms into history but brings no fruits, future images get pale-

A heavy thought.

Today the universe told me something and I think I understood. The backpack is empty now. My heart is still heavy and so are my eyes.

But: 2009 – here I come. Volle Kraft voraus ohne Rucksack mit Licht in den Augen.

-you are just a part of it; so get to the heart of it; cause if you don’t go, you won’t know-

 

…

With a smile…

…

created by Kristina Sperkova, for ACTIVE - sobriety, friendship and peace