heavy heart…

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with every beat it seems to sink lower, deeper in the chest, furhter away from me – my heavy heart;

with every beat it brings new strings of thoughts;

Why do they feel heavy?

2009 is going to be a great year for me. I am living in a perfect world now – for the first time in my life. And I have created this world – a shelter, sometimes a fortress, sometimes a refuge and always a well. From here I feel yearning for the world, to understand, to understand even more, to be there in the world and take it all in, perceive everything and invite everything into my soul. With the warmth from my well.

I stand tall with arms wide spread and senses wide open: 2009!

With the warmth from my well, I will live a positive life, a good life where everyday is a chance to realize a new year’s resolution, where every day means a chance to make the world, this world a little better. 2009!

I felt this paramount joy and lightheartedness for this new year – in this period that doesn’t really exist but yet feels so real: inbetween the years. And it is a challenge to be reflective in enthusiasm to perceive when the universe is talking to you.

My heart is heavy. I can hear the universe.

Today I saw old faces, from old times. Just like that. What do they tell? What does my heavy heart tell? We all carry a backpack with us loaded with souvenirs from the past. But we actually don’t need that backpack because the souvenirs from the past are also in our souls. I can feel mine more and more and more and more frequently – thanks to the warmth from my well. My soul contains the universe. I feel it.

Today I do.

So, I swing the backpack from its warming and comforting but also heavy pulling spot on my back to the floor in fron of me. There it stands and my thoughts are heavy. They can feel that they will be unpacked now. Unpacked and left on the street of history.

- when times transforms into history but brings no fruits, future images get pale-

A heavy thought.

Today the universe told me something and I think I understood. The backpack is empty now. My heart is still heavy and so are my eyes.

But: 2009 – here I come. Volle Kraft voraus ohne Rucksack mit Licht in den Augen.

-you are just a part of it; so get to the heart of it; cause if you don’t go, you won’t know-

 

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